That's not a bad day. You've got a good setup there.

It's hard. It's not something I like to brag about. It gets me through, it gets me by and if I can inspire others like myself, to want to become whatever it is that I do, I'm all for it.

Because the thing is, I dropped out of college and I pretty much quit my job saying, "I'm just gonna do what I think I know I can do, and hopefully someone wants me to be a part of it," and I got lucky.

You know how there's a part of your brain that says, "Don't jump of the cliff, you're an idiot?" I just shut it off, quit my job and went for it.

I'm a lemming; a really, really good-looking lemming. Everyone should probably Google what a lemming is.

That might have to become the title for this interview when it goes up on the numerous sites I whore myself to.

That's the thing man; you have to whore yourself.

I do not care. When I put a video out, if I have 500 people comment "That's the worst video I've ever seen," that's 500 people that watched my video. I don't care.

Exactly. Exactly.

Trust me, when people read this and say, "Wow, you were terrible. That's the worst interview I've ever read," they still read it.

That's right. People are gonna say, "Who the hell is Ryan Loco..."

People are gonna say, "Who the hell is Spencer and why is a Canadian allowed to own a computer?"

You know? Are you at the public library in Canada and you're using the one computer right now? Is there a line forming?

That's exactly what's happening. We don't have Internet in our igloos, so I've had to fight off a bunch of people to get on the one computer.

You probably had to fight off an elk. Don't sell yourself short.

Or maybe a bear like Matt Mitrione.

Yeah, that guy. You know what? I take it back; don't tell him I said to go fuck himself. Tell him "God Bless."

We'll save the "Go Fuck Yourself" for Shoman a little later on.

Tell him "God Bless" and there goes the Fight! Magazine article I was going to write on him.

So, let's get into some of the outlandish claims made by your co-host.

Is it in fact possible to catch STDs just from talking to you? Do I now have gonorrhea?

Probably not gonorrhoea; Chlamydia is a really good option though and the thing about Chlamydia is FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD two pills, five days, it's gone, so you're fine. Not that I would know.

Neither would I and it will stay that way.

Are you married?

I am; I got married about five months ago now.

Wow, congratulations. What's your girlfriend think about that?

My girlfriend was very unhappy, but my wife is quite pleased.

That's great.

Do you ride on Shoman's coattails? He likes to think he's the big dog of the show.

That's the bitter Jew in him coming out, that's what that is. He's upset because (1) I make fun of him every day for killing Jesus, (2) what does he do?

He draws, big whoop. I have to go...