Will he sign with Strikeforce or will he sign with the UFC?

It doesn't matter. Wherever he goes, he's the future. He's the future.

He's the future, and America better be ready because the strong black man, finally, someone I can look up to being a black man myself, the strong black man is taking over.

I do white women!

Now that we've got some very unrelated questions out of the way, let's turn our attention to actual fights and MMA for a minute to prove we both in fact know a thing or two about the sport.

Your boy Jason "Mayhem" Miller has been rumoured to take on Jake Shields for the vacant Strikeforce middleweight title. Even though the fight hasn't been made official for whatever reason as of yet, handicap that fight for us.

How do you see it going? Is Shields better off staying at 170? What is happening with the fight with Jacare? Give us the scoops.

I'm a very democratic guy, I don't like to ruffle feathers, so I'll keep my answer very democratic and say that Jake Shields is going to get his shit pushed in.

And then Jacare after that, I'm guessing?

The Jacare fight, dude, Jacare is tough as balls, absolutely. But that second Jacare fight, people are talking mess about it, but the fight barely lasted what, two minutes?

I don't remember because it was at like five in the morning and I was dead tired, but it's not like Jason kicked him on purpose.

That guy trained so hard for that fight, and wanted to beat the crap out of Jacare and I'm telling you, the next Jacare fight is going to be amazing.

Quote me on this, here's what I want you to quote me on for the next Mayhem - Jacare fight, quote this:

Ryan Loco's Awesome, so there you go. Right?

That might also become the title of this piece.

Ryan Loco will bang your girlfriend and you will thank him, that's what the title should be.

Did Fedor make the right decision by signing with Strikeforce; is he being a pussy not signing with the UFC or is it just a business deal for him?

It's all money, but I think it's stupid. It's dumb.

Brett Rogers? C'mon. If anyone actually thinks Brett Rogers is a threat, go out and... I don't even know what you can do. I'm so offended that people think Brett Rogers is a threat.

I want you to re-release this article after the fight happens...

That says, "Ryan Loco is offended that people think Brett Rogers is a threat." I agree, by the way.

And d'you know what's going to happen? Brett Rogers will probably last three minutes and people will all be like, "Oh, he lasted three minutes."

MMA is stupid anyway. Remember that too.

We'll definitely quote that!

MMA fans are never happy with anything. MMA fans are like women, and don't get me wrong, I like women. My mom's a woman last time I checked, but women are like, "I want a guy who is busy and has his own things going on and that would be great."

Cool, but once they get that guy and it's "you...