That's a good plan and you would do well up here in Canada because there are a lot of tough guys leaving their ladies to go get in fights.

They ruined hyper-color shirts! Fuckin' douches, I loved wearing those.

Alright, since we got serious for a minute, we have to end with some fun stuff.

First, let's get your predictions for the UFC 103 card since I'm guessing you'll be in attendance.

Oh yeah. I'll wave to you guys from my suite.

Franklin vs. Belfort?

Rich Franklin.

Cro Cop vs. dos Santos?

Don't care.

Kampmann vs. Daley?

Wow. Well, you're gonna post this on Facebook, so Paul Daley's manager is gonna read it. And I'll post it on Twitter and MySpace, so Hitman Dan will read it. Alright...

Paul Daley's manager, read this line: I think Paul's gonna win.

Okay, Hitman Dan: ignore that top part. I think Kampmann is gonna win.

Koscheck vs. Trigg?

I pray to God, to all that is holy - I'll probably even go to church the week before - that my friend and good buddy, fellow broadcaster, fellow journalist, fellow gluten-free gentleman Frank Trigg beats the ever-loving hell out of Josh Koscheck.

Griffin vs. Franca?

Well, I love Tyson; Good looking kid, huge ass and hopefully he finishes him. I have no doubt that he gets the "W" but I wanna see a finish. No more decisions.

If you could fight anyone - past or present - who would it be and who would be the winner?

That's a good one. Tough one, wow. I would wanna fight Baby Jessica. D'you remember her?

The kid that fell down a well?

That kid that fell down the well, yeah. I'd wanna fight her, because being a little kid and you can't watch anything, having that shit take over every channel and having to watch people with flashlights looking down a hole...

I remember that Jessica. I remember what you did.

But Baby Jessica inspired a classic Simpsons episode...

You know what? Seriously, I wanna fight her, but as a baby.

I think I'd have a chance. As an adult, I don't know. I think she's 22, but as a baby? I would fuck her up.

Would you hit on her now as a 22-year-old if you met her? Would you be all, "Hey, it's so good that you're out of that well. My name's Ryan. Let me buy you a drink."

She would probably remember me from kicking her ass as a kid, so probably she wouldn't be into it.

But she's not that hot. I think all the exposure from the gasses underneath the ground and the lack of exposure to the sunlight for the whole day fucked her whole chromosomes up.

She's like one of those cavekids, like I talked about with Shoman. She looks like if Shoman had a daughter... and then he threw her down a well.

That's what Jews do, I think.

If you could play matchmaker for one day, regardless of organizational ties or anything like that, what three fights would you make and why?

Fedor vs. Brock because I have a hard-on for Brock, Silva vs. Machida and Shinya Aoki versus Jose Canseco.

It's the one people have been waiting for.

The first two almost everyone picks. Aoki - Canseco you're an original on.

Fine,...