On August 1, Fedor Emelianenko will be fighting again; and again he won't be fighting at a UFC event. How much longer are we going to have to hear about this?

This situation is way out of control at this point. The fact is, Fedor has already beaten most of the top heavyweights in the world, many of them former UFC heavyweights including seven former UFC champions. The thing is, until he does it in the UFC, the U.S. fans and the media are going to refuse to let it go.

Dana White is the president of the UFC, the greatest mixed martial arts organization in the world. Emilianenko's managers are the managers of the greatest fighter in the world so here's what they have to do; make it happen.

I'll concede the fact that I'm neither a promoter nor a manager but it's not molecular biology, it's a fight contract. To my knowledge, everyone involved knows how to sign their name. Make it happen. Isn't that what you do when you're the greatest? At this point even the people that are talking about it are tired of hearing about it. That's why, out of the kindness of my heart, I have split the atom and come up with a plan. Everyone can thank me later. For now, we have a contract that we need to get signed.

Mr. White, I'll start with you sir. "Exclusive contracts" seems to be the common term used for the primary hurdle in this matter. This particular contract isn't for a prospect with potential who's gone 6-1 in Lincoln, Nebraska. This is Fedor. Fedor. The guy has one-name status like Madonna and Prince and Britney. I'll apologize to Madonna and Prince later, I'm on a roll.

Fedor is the guy that fans want to see in the UFC, probably more than every other non-UFC fighter combined. This guy has one fluke loss that he should probably be allowed to have legally expunged. For this contract, if it's not quite as "exclusive" as you'd like it to be, it's ok. You're the president of the greatest mixed martial arts organization in the world. You couldn't have gotten to where you are without some occasional flexibility, right? Everyone's aware of the fact that you've tried to talk to him and haven't been able to get past his people. I have a solution for that too. You can write to us at FiveKnuckles and we'll get the message to him because we're here to help in any way we can. If money is also a factor, I'll address that with Fedor as well but keep in mind that this fight is a serious blockbuster, especially if Brock Lesnar beats Frank Mir and becomes the big Russian's first UFC opponent.

Now, Mr. Last Emperor, why exactly are you so difficult to talk to? Sure, everyone has managers and people that conduct business for them but this is the most important fight deal in the history of MMA. I'm sure that your people wouldn't mind if you sat down with Dana and chatted for a while. You're the greatest fighter in the world. Can anyone really stop you from doing what you want to do? Now please, don't take this the wrong way but you're not getting any younger. I think you want to do this while you're closer to 35...