The Aftermath Awards: UFC 130
by Nathan Joel on May 29, 2011

UFC 130 is done. It did not cover itself in glory.

Even so, UFC events are so big now, so compressed with small vignettes of personality and large spectacles of human nature, that we are compelled to organize the highs and lows of the event into some kind of format. So, let's do it in the manner of an awards ceremony; and let's call it The Aftermath Awards.

Firstly, awards already given by divine proclamation (aka Dana White):

And now, introducing ttttttthhhheeeee Aftermath Awards!

  • Award for best Juvenile Impersonation goes to ... Rampage Jackson! (How could it not? I mean, really...his own coach said on national TV that Rampage is a child who has to be told when to go to bed and when to get up. Then Rampage's bizarre pre-fight offense at "something" Ariel Helwani did to offend him, and finally the performance at the post-fight interviews just wrapped it up. He "owns" this award anytime the Diaz brothers are not on the card.
  • Award for Best Ring-Side Analysis goes to ... Joe Rogan! (Joe's multiple rebukes of Roy "Big Country" Nelson's weight and conditioning, not just last night but practically every time Nelson fights, are spot on. Roy, it's not cute anymore, re-make yourself.)
  • Award for Most Improved goes to ... Dana White! (Looking svelte and fit, DW has lost 22 lbs. Seriously though, Dana White does seem to be getting comfortable in his own skin, his role, his place. He is probably too busy to need approval anymore.)
  • Award for Worst Cornerman goes to ... Kendell Grove's corner. (Listen to the advice given at end of second round, the Corner is more frustrated than the fighter. This is a terrible psychological error. I know that picking cornermen is highly personal, but revealing frustration is not the way to strengthen the mind of your fighter. Be calm. Give specific advice. And know when to remind your guy of how much you believe in him or her. Asking for more of what isn't working is the definition of insanity.)
  • Award for Best Cornerman goes to ... Brian Stann's corner. (At the end of round one, Greg Jackson calls over the fence, "Hey Brian, he is probably gonna try and take you down, just so you know." Good advice seeing that Jorge was having no success standing, but the tone was what made it great. Casual, calm, supremely confident. Well done.
  • Award for Grace Under Pressure goes to ... Ariel Helwani (Rampage's surreal threat to poor Ariel, during the pre-fight interview, was just, well, juvenile. Ariel never lost composure, undoubtedly knowing within himself that Rampage will be retired history before he, Ariel, even hits his peak earning years.)
  • Award for Best Wise-Crack goes to ... Roy Nelson! (The joke about bringing Dan Hardy into his corner for the wrestling advice was just funny. That is assuming, of course, that Hardy was ok with it. If he wasn't, it is pretty cold to mock a guy whom you asked to corner you, especially when you lost. Along with the Best Wise-Crack, Roy Nelson also gets the award for the most crack.)
  • Award for Worst Fight Plan goes to ... Matt Hamill! (Sorry, Matt,...
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HOW WILL THE THIAGO ALVES VS. MARTIN KAMPMANN FIGHT END AT UFC ON FX 2?
Alves def. Kampmann via TKO/KO
Alves def. Kampmann via submission
Alves def. Kampmann via decision
Kampmann def. Alves via TKO/KO
Kampmann def. Alves via submission
Kampmann def. Alves via decision
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