Originally posted on The Rhino Den.

One of Five Knuckles' writers, Kelly Crigger, and Ranger Up CEO Nick Palmisciano just got back from UFC 100, an event that by many independent accounts, they both spent in an over-the-top alcoholic haze. Here’s point, counter point from both. Mr. Crigger will begin:

Kelly Crigger’s UFC 100 Flashbacks:
Kelly-Upon linking up with Nick in Vegas I notice he’s wearing a froo-froo pair of designer jeans with big white splotches on the buttocks that resemble semen stains. He claims to have ripped his regular jeans and bought these in a hurry. I secretly think he wants to mimic RU fighter and gambling enthusiast Dale Hartt, who also wears spermizoa stained jeans and cannot sit still. Nick and I are both fearful.

Nick-I was on the strip walking and I dropped my phone. When I bent down to pick the damn thing, I tore the ass right out of my jeans, which was awesome because everyone got to see my Spiderman underoos. I walked into Caesar’s Palace to get replacement denim and the only options were jeans that cost more than my car. I bought them, but will be seeking counseling ASAP.

Kelly-John Tackett retires early for the evening and makes no bones about it. I think he’s afraid of what might happen when Hartt decides to go cow tipping in the Mojave.

Nick-Oh, how I wish I had taken his lead…

Kelly-At the expo, Nick refuses to stare at the woman modeling New Whey protein in the booth next to us. Instead he keeps saying, "Is that Rampage?" and pointing nowhere so she looks away while he checks out her rack.

Nick-Erroneous! Erroneous! Not only did I stare at her, but she is likely going to be a Ranger Up Girl in the future. Plus, you know…Steve Mazzagatti looks a lot like Rampage…

Kelly-Nick takes a cell phone picture of the street corner where Tupac was killed. I am not as impressed since my attention is on the eccentric (read: scary) street walkers who appear to be sizing us up for a drive by.

Nick-Crigger is 107 years old, and hence doesn’t acknowledge the awesomeness that is Tupac. Had Abba been gunned down on that street corner, then maybe Crigger would share my pain…

Kelly-At ace MMA photographer Tracy Lee’s party, a man is struggling with the decision to join the Army and seeks my advice. Nick would rather talk about Party Starter - a two chambered spray bottle that holds alcohol and mixer. Priorities, Nick.

Nick-You can adjust the freakin flow rate for varying alcohol mixes and then fire a shot five feet across the room. It’s up there with penicillin as far as I’m concerned.

Kelly-Nick tells Rob Roveta, "Don't mind him. He's usually sleeping in a trunk right now." I can't figure out who he's referring to.

Nick-Drunk Crigger tells the guy throwing the party and one of the more influential agents in the sport that he can “get him in because he writes for Fight! Magazine and Five Knuckles while flexing mightily and letting out a primal scream.

Kelly-Danny Acosta from Fight! magazine walks by just as Nick bends over to pick something up. Nick accuses him of trying to have butt sex with him and repeats this fact to everyone. Having previously admired Nick, Acosta is currently seeking grief counseling.

Nick-There really is nothing funnier than telling tons of people you don’t really know that a guy you just met is a known...